This winter and the need for heat at home has set my ears into a
tailspin of discomfort. They're so dry that they bleed some times and it's just disgusting. I was convinced I had some infection in there, but was told last week that alas, it's just dry skin, and that a drop of olive oil should help.
Instead of going out and just buying a dropper for the oil, I
decided to just go rogue and add drops of lavender oil to them. Hell, I've made bath bombs before- I'm sort of a connoisseur of essential oils, right?
So, while drawing myself a much-needed bath (much-needed for both the relaxation and cleansing properties of said bath), I added the drops to my ears, and shortly after, Gigi came to say something to me, and I realized that there was some serious pressure building in them. What kind of lavender was this?!? Oh, it was the camphor kind of lavender! I've had a lot of pain in recent years, and I'm going to go crazy and say that this was one of the worst ever. Ever.
I filled PB in on my horrible mistake (said in my best Gob voice) and he immediately went online to find out how to help. Poor guy (and unbeknownst to me) but the first thing he read was how ingesting camphor could lead to death. Not a rash. Death.
Anyhow, hiding his mounting terror from me, we decide to start flushing my ears with water. The pain was momentarily stunned by the freezing water, but after a good 5-10 minutes of this, everything felt worse. PB returned to the screen of horrible diagnoses and I just sat there trying to keep calm, sipping my coffee, while beginning to prepare myself for a life carrying this insane amount of pressure in my ears. I wondered what it would feel like when my eardrums finally burst, and felt sad that my shenanigans would lead to a trip to the hospital during Gigi's spring break. You may wonder why I bothered with the coffee, but the truth is that I was really freaked out and needed to feel as normal as possible.
After about 20 minutes, and happy chit chat with Gigi as she came to find out what was going on and me downplaying the agony and horror, I decided to just go lie down. In the meantime, PB got on the phone with Info-Santé, and then rightfully changed his mind and asked me to think of a place that sells essential oils, which brings us to L'Alchimiste en herbe on St-Denis. The woman (wise, wise nameless woman, thank you!) who answered his call expressed alarm and a "Oh that is not good!" after he told her the problem but was quick to tell him that we should douse the ears with olive oil as a dilution for the camphor.
So, that's what you do if ever you find yourself in a similar situation. But please don't find yourself in a similar situation. The whole point of writing this is to prevent anyone else from feeling that pain. And that stupid. Man, it's not good to feel that stupid.